Like mother like son

Its been a few days since I wrote. I feel like I am either running to doctor appointments, changing diapers, feeding, fighting sleep or crying coz I am away from Laksh at work. I have been trying to read this book (Bloom by Kelle Hampton; http://kellehampton.com/) for a while now and somehow managed to read only a few pages in the subway on my way to or from work. I feel like I should put a warning here though: "May lead to embarrassing and excessive crying so read in public at your own risk"

Thanks to a rather insensitive employer, I have suddenly come across some free time which I have now started using by spending some more quality time with my baby. Recently, we got some books for Laksh, some new and some hand me downs but great books nonetheless. My sister told me something she read in a book that stayed with me. Once we finish reading a book, we should just pass it along. Holding on to it holds negative energy. Spreading knowledge is good and keep only the books you are going to re read. Anyone who knows me know how much I love reading and how I am slowly and steadily building my personal library (don't know how I am going to follow the pass it along philosophy). Hoping that Laksh has taken after me in that sense, I have ventured on to this new path.

Some one on a FB page for moms told me about Jacks Basket and thanks to them, Laksh received this beautiful book about learning about colors. Just a side note, if you haven't already, check out Jack's basket. "Jack’s Basket is a 501(c)3 non profit organization that’s mission is to celebrate babies born with Down syndrome.  We strive to ensure that every new and expectant parent is provided resources and avenues of support within the community.  We aim to educate medical providers on how to discuss the diagnosis in an unbiased way in hopes that the birth of a child with Down syndrome is celebrated like any other." http://www.jacksbasket.org/

Anyway, so when I showed Laksh that book of colors, he was spell bound. He kept staring at the pages without blinking his eyes and just moving his eye balls side to side. How I wish I had taken a video but I was busy enjoying the moment. Cherishing how my little one might share this love of reading with his mumma. I say "might" because a small part of me does acknowledge it could just be the bright colors that had that effect on him. Testing my theory, I have now started reading to him in the afternoons if we are done with feeding, burping, diaper change, play time, tummy time etc and he is still alert. So this is day one of testing my theory.

we can always take a break from reading for a nice picture

I am so eager to learn things he may have picked up from me and things he may have taken from his daddy. I still get so amazed and ever so intrigued with the things a human body is capable of doing. So what if it gave my Laksh an extra chromosome, it did so only to make him extra special.

Are we doing things that bring us joy?

I was just reading Kelle Hampton's blog about Krista who is her intern who happens to have down syndrome. (http://kellehampton.com/blog) The things that Krista is learning in college make me feel both good and a little sad. I had dreams about my Laksh being able to achieve get success and sometimes realizing that he might have to learn skills to be able to live independently that usually comes naturally to most people is a little disheartening. That being said, some years ago, people with DS were institutionalized so this is definitely a move in the right direction.

Anyway, reading her blog, I stumbled upon the entry from today and realized "worrying about things beyond our control" is not something that only I am inflicted with. But her friend did ask a very important question, " Are we doing things that bring us joy?' When I tried answering this question, I realized my answer is no for the most part. We are in that phase of life, where Hubby and I are struggling between trying to make a decent living so we can provide for our baby. In this day to day struggle, we are forgetting to take a minute to enjoy the small things (yes yes I am a fan).

Most of the times, we are just running through the motions and not actually living life. I sometimes see how my friends are managing to travel (a passion of mine) but I am not even able to go to the movies. I want to do so much and yet somehow I end up doing nothing. All I am doing is, going to work and managing to be able to find time to spend with my son. I hate that I don't have the freedom to be able to take time off work or just take a little sabbatical.

I am now deciding that we will do one fun thing every day. It does not matter how grand or how simple that thing is, but we will do it. It does not matter if anyone wants to join us or not but we will do it. As a family, we will do things that bring us joy because that is what life is made up of. Small moments of joy. Good night readers.





















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