Post Partum depression

Don’t want to take anything away from the seriousness of what happened with Nima, but it has been weighing heavily on me. Writing this post has been very very difficult for me and I am not sure if i should ever share this but I’m trying to #breakthestigma4nima so please hear me out.

This is a photo of me on 06/06/2020 seconds after Veer made his grand entry. I felt every emotion that I could possibly imagine, I felt happiness, relief, joy, anxiety, fear, excitement and so much more.

I was happy because he was finally here and scared because he was finally here, in the middle of a global pandemic. I remember with Laksh, things we so different because he spent the first two months of his life in the NICU. Tomorrow Veer will be two months old so I felt I needed to share this.

I am not sure what I feel Is #postpartumdepression or anxiety because of the current state of the world. I felt something similar when Laksh was born as well and there was no pandemic then. I felt guilt, I felt anxiety, I felt sad, I felt inadequate, I felt disgust, I felt ugly, I felt like I had failed my son. And I thought I felt all that because he was in the NICU for little over 2 months and somehow that happened because of me.

But by the grace of God, Veer has been here with us every single day of the two months  that Laksh had spent in the NiCU and our boys with be with us forever more, but I still feel these feelings. I still feel like I am not enough.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t feel this all the time but I do feel these feelings of inadequacy. I feel anger and frustration and irritability for small little things. I felt shame when answering the questionnaire my OB made me fill regarding #ppd becasue I didn’t want to acknowledge I felt those feelings. That me, an educated person who has her sh*t together is feeling like she is lost. 

But my question is why? Why do we feel the need to hide our mental well being from the world? Why do we feel that we would be labeled as ‘not fit mothers’ if we say we are struggling? Why do we feel shame in asking for help? 

As south Asians specially, mental health is such a stigma and never discussed openly. People throw around the word ‘ I am depressed’ without truly understanding what it means or how debilitating it truly can be. 

Today sharing about these feelings has felt like a difficult but much needed step for me but I’m doing this because I hope it helps someone feeling the same way reach out and ask for help. 

Let's bust some myths for October is Down syndrome awareness month

Dear readers,


October is Down syndrome awareness month and in honor of Laksh and other amazing people just like him, we are having a celebration on our Instagram page. 


When Laksh was born, I did find myself leaning on Dr. Google to help me find some facts about Down syndrome. Being a physical therapist, I was aware of what Down syndrome is but I had never come across anyone in real life who had DS until Laksh. I was so shocked to see some not so accurate and honestly antiquated information on there that it worried me. 

Some sites down right made DS look like a punishment for the child and his/her family, which it really is NOT. So I decided to start a social media page for Laksh so I could show people what it really looks like to have a child with Down syndrome in today's time.  On these platforms, I connected with so many amazing families who have been on this journey longer than we have and it has blown my mind. 

Everything that I wanted for my child, I can see it happening. It might take a bit longer, but who is in a rush anyway? Today, I would also like to take this opportunity to bust these myths I kept reading on different websites back in 2017. 

I am using yellow and blue as these colors represent Down syndrome awareness 

Myths vs  Facts

Most children with Down syndrome are born to older parents. 

Most children with Down syndrome are born to women younger than 35 years old simply because younger women have more children. However, the likelihood of having a child with Down syndrome increases with the age of the mother, especially after age 35  

All people with Down syndrome have a severe cognitive disability 

Most people with Down syndrome have a mild to moderate cognitive disability, or intellectual disability. This is not indicative of the many strengths and talents that each individual 

People with Down syndrome cannot be active members of their community. 

People with Down syndrome are active participants in educational, social and recreational activities. They are included in the typical education system and take part in sports, music, art programs and any other activities in the community. People with Down syndrome are valued members of their families and communities, and make meaningful contributions to society, and many are proud business owners. 

Scientists know everything there is to know about Down syndrome. 

Though we know that an extra full or partial copy of chromosome 21 causes the characteristics of Down syndrome, researchers are making great strides in identifying how individual genes on chromosome 21 affect a person with Down syndrome. Scientists now feel strongly that it will be possible to improve, correct or prevent many of the problems associated with Down syndrome in the future 

Segregated special education programs are the only option for students with Down syndrome. 

Students with Down syndrome are included in typical academic classrooms in schools across the country. The current trend in education is for full inclusion in social and educational settings. Sometimes students with Down syndrome are included in specific courses, while in other situations students are fully included in the typical classroom for all subjects. Increasingly, individuals with Down syndrome graduate from high school with diplomas, and participate in post secondary academic and college programs 

Adults with Down syndrome are the same as children with Down syndrome. 

Adults with Down syndrome are not children, and should not be considered children. They enjoy activities and companionship with other adults, and have similar needs and feelings as their typical peers.

Adults with Down syndrome are unable to form close interpersonal relationships leading to marriage 

People with Down syndrome socialize and have meaningful friendships. Some choose to date, maintain ongoing relationships and marry. 

It is ok to use the “r-word” if you don’t really mean it. 

It is never acceptable to use the word “retarded” in any derogatory context. Using this word is hurtful and suggests that people with disabilities are not competent. 

Adults with Down syndrome are unemployable  

Businesses employ adults with Down syndrome for a variety of positions – in banks, corporations, hotels, hospitals, nursing homes, offices and restaurants. They work in the music and entertainment industry, in clerical positions, childcare, the sports field and the computer industry, to name a few. Like anybody else, people with Down syndrome want to have a job where their work will be valued.  

People with Down syndrome are always sick 

Though people with Down syndrome are at an increased risk for certain medical conditions such as congenital heart defects, respiratory and hearing problems, and thyroid conditions, advances in health care and treatment of these conditions have allowed for most individuals with Down syndrome to lead healthy lives. 

Down syndrome is a rare disorder. 

Down syndrome is the most commonly occurring chromosomal condition. Approximately one in every 700 babies in the United States is born with Down syndrome, or around 6,000 births per year. 

People with Down syndrome are always happy and affectionate. 

We are all individuals and people with Down syndrome are no different to anyone else in their character traits, varying moods, and ability to feel all kinds of emotions 

People with Down syndrome all look the same. 

There are certain physical characteristics that can occur. People with Down syndrome can have all of them or none. A person with Down syndrome will always look more like his or her close family than someone else with the condition. 

People with Down syndrome do not live very long 

Today, with the kind of medical treatments available, people with Down syndrome can look forward to living a long and fulfilling life 

Down syndrome is hereditary and runs in families.  

Translocation, a type of Down syndrome that accounts for 3 to 4% of all cases, is the only type of Down syndrome known to have a hereditary component. Of those, one third (or 1% of all cases of Down syndrome) are hereditary

I have used the National Down syndrome society as a guideline to create this list.

To show your support, you could wear yellow and/or blue anytime in the month of October or just any time at all, and tag us on Facebook or Instagram  using @livelifelakshsize or the hashtag #livelifelakshsize or #lakshandfriends

Leaving you guys with a video of my SUPER LAKSH in his TINY SUPERHEROES CAPE.

To be a part of Laksh's journey you can connect with us on:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/livelifelakshsize/?
Instgram: https://www.instagram.com/livelifelakshsize/
Website: www.livelifelakshsize.com


And if you loved reading this or any other articles here, please do hit the follow button and share. Thank you

Are we all truly created equal?

Dear readers,

I saw part of a speech a fellow mama that inspired me to write this.

As parents of kids with different needs that the general folks, we have to take this position of being an advocate. We have to shout the worth of our kids beause sometimes society writes them off based on a diagnosis that’s only a small part of who they are. Parents of kids with typical needs are congratulated on the birth of their children whereas a lot of us are shown sympathy.

My family and I have always celebrated Laksh, even in those early days when we were unsure of how to navigate this journey we are put on. Ours kids have to start life with proving their worth at every single step, sometimes it could be as basic as their right to be born. Isn’t that a shame? No one should have to prove in utero that their life is worth something.

The children that are allowed (and I don’t use that word lightly) to be born then have to fight for inclusion at every step of their existence. They have to prove what other children might take for granted. I am not writing this to shame or call out anyone, I’m just writing this to create awareness, to start a conversation and to let the world know my Laksh is capable AF.

Our kids have to start life at a disadvantage and that isn’t the way make anyone feel like they belong. Imagine starting the race of life a mile behind everyone else and never being given the opportunities to catch up or even carve your own path. What is this race anyway? What happens if a child can’t walk till they are 2 or 3 or 5 or even just not  able to learn or master that skill? Isn’t it our job as a society to include and adapt according to the needs to the people living in it?

I’ll always shout the worth of my son and other like him and welcome you guys to be a part of this new better, kinder and welcoming world that includes every single one of us.

Lots of love,
Laksh’s Proud Mom

To be a part of Laksh's journey you can connect with us on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/livelifelakshsize/?

Instgram: @livelifelakshsize

Website: www.livelifelakshsize.com



And if you loved reading this or any other articles here, please do hit the follow button and share. Thank you

Love and Kindness are never wasted

Love and kindness are never wasted.
They always make a difference.
 They bless the one who receives them, and they bless you, the giver.
- Barbara Se Angelis
One of my biggest fear is will people be kind to Laksh? 

Will people understand that just because he might need more time to understand or 

learn something new, doesn’t mean he can’t do that ever. 

I hope that people understand that he is curious about things and if given a chance, 

a true chance he will flourish. I hope people see in him all the mischief that I can and

 all the love that is clearly apparent.
I hope that people see what a talented 2 year old he is and

 that having #downsyndrome is just a part of his being. 

He also has a sense of humor, a contagious smile, a way of making mommy and daddy dance

 on his fingers, a will to learn and learn with zest, 

an ability to make you see world in a whole different way, 

an ability to see good in the world, 

an ability to excel when given proper guidance and motivation,

 a way of moving on from things that are not important in the grand scheme of things,

 an art of fake crying to get his way, and make friends with ease.
When I see him with all things parts attached to his personality, 

Down syndrome kind of stops being this overpowering thing people had made it out to be.

 Again, I don’t mean that it’s not tough at times but well that’s how life is.

 We can’t keep dwelling in that. 

Laksh is so much more that his diagnosis but you can see that only if you truly look.
Always be kind, it’s doesn’t take anything out of you but has the power of making or

 breaking someone.

To follow Laksh's journey you can connect with us on:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/livelifelakshsize/?
Instgram: @livelifelakshsize
Website: www.livelifelakshsize.comAnd if you loved reading this or any other articles here, please do hit the follow button and share. 

Thank you

The magic created by his extra chromosome or because it’s him.

Dear readers,

I understand that being a parent is a constant struggle between loving your child to death and wanting to pull off all your hair one by one, but what makes this journey worth all the frustration is this amazing child that calls you mom or dad. I am so lucky to have Laksh as my first born and I do not mean that because he has Down syndrome but because he is an amazing little boy. 

He loves with all his heart and I understand that could be due to the magic created by his extra chromosome or just because it’s him. He laughs easily and makes others laugh with him, and I understand that could be due to the magic created by his extra chromosome or just because it’s him. 

He is easy to forgive and move on, and I understand that could be due to the magic created by his extra chromosome or just because it’s him. He drives me insane with his shenanigans, and I understand that could be due to the magic created by his extra chromosome or just because it’s him. 

He is the kindest sweetest boy, and I understand that could be due to the magic created by his extra chromosome or just because it’s him. 

To follow Laksh's journey you can connect with us on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/livelifelakshsize/?

Instgram: @livelifelakshsize

Website: www.livelifelakshsize.com

And if you loved reading this or any other articles here, please do hit the follow button and share. Thank you

My dear son

My heart is always worried for my son and his well being. I know that he has a long road ahead and life can be hard some times but all we can do is make sure to raise a child that is confident and believes in himself/herself. I am writing this open letter to him so when he grows up, he can read this and hopefully understand how much he is loved and valued. And how much for an amazingly brilliant person he is. Please read below.

My dear son,

I feel like everything in life happens for a reason, and my son you have been the greatest gift that God has given me. I’m doing my best to raise you to be strong, nurturing, loving, brave and self confident. I am shouting your worth everyday so people don’t limit you from being the best version of yourself and achieve your greatest potential. They say that parents are suppose to be teachers for their kids but you my darling Laksh have taught me and your daddy so much.

Joy comes from the places you least expect it, and for us it comes from simple things like watching you play with your favorite car or reading your favorite book. Laksh you are a huge inspiration for me and everyday I learn and grow as a human being just by being near you. That’s the best part about being a mom for me. Being the person who gets that love from you, that love which is so pure and so unconditional that it makes you fierce.

So in the end my son, all I want and hope for you is to be a nice and kind human being who touches the lives of different people and makes them happy.  May God bless you with everything you ever wanted and deserve.

To follow Laksh's journey you can connect with us on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/livelifelakshsize/?

Instgram: @livelifelakshsize

Website: www.livelifelakshsize.com

And if you loved reading this or any other articles here, please do hit the follow button and share. Thank you

Happy 2nd birthday to my lifeline

Oh where have the last two years gone? It  seems like it was yesterday when I was laying in the hospital bed waiting in eager anticipation of meeting you.

This is your second year in our life my darling Laksh, but you already have succeeded to change our lives and make it so complete and happy. You are our lifetime happiness.  Baby, you are the main reason which makes your mom and dad smile and also in some way the world around you. We can’t resist your sweet charm and neither can the people that come across you. You my sweet angel are a total heart stealer.

I love watching you grow, my sweet little boy. Your personality is amazing. You are so funny, smart, and so adorable. You have everyone wrapped around you little finger, especially your mummy. You are such a narrative shifter and I love that in mere 24 months, you have made such a difference in the way people see differently abled people.

You my sweet baby, rock the extra chromosome so well that it makes me wonder, why did I ever worry about anything. You are my guiding star, my love, my reason for being, and my Laksh. Mummy and daddy hope you achieve everything you ever want in life and much much more. Always be kind and happy.

Baby, we wish you a very happy birthday and we love you so much!