Laksh is almost 3 months old. As I have mentioned before, we are waiting for his EIP to start and in the meanwhile we have follow ups with his GI surgeon, cardiology, ENT and regular pediatrician to keep us busy. This being my first baby, I find myself tempted to google what a three month old baby can do and then compare it and see what our baby is doing but then I stop myself. I know that is a rabbit hole, and if I fall into it, I am only going to fall deeper and deeper.
Sometimes when I look at Laksh I wonder, is he looking too dazed or is he just being a baby? Is it his down syndrome that is making him not interested in smiling often or is he just being a baby? Every time he doesn't eat his entire meal, I worry if it is something to do with his abdominal surgery or he is just being a baby? Every time he doesn't respond to my voice I wonder, is it his down syndrome or is he just being a baby?
Every time he is awake, I wonder should I keep talking to him so he can learn more or is it okay to be content in just hanging out with him once in a while? Every time he is on the boppy I feel should I give him something to play with so he is working on his fine motor skills or is it okay be content in just hanging out with him once in a while? Whenever I lay him down to change his diaper, do I need to keep his brain stimulated by playing Mozart lullabies or is it okay be content in just hanging out with him once in a while?
I accept that there have been days where I forget he has down syndrome or that it is just a small part of who is that it does not even matter but then there are days where it seems so prominent in everything he does. When people talk about how tall he would be because his parents are tall, I wonder would that still be true as down syndrome tends to affect overall growth? When people say how smart he would be as his parents are highly educated, I wonder would that still be true as down syndrome tends to affect overall cognition? With so many thoughts running in my mind that unfortunately I forget to get amazed by this tiny miracle that God helped us create. Now a days, whenever my mind starts to wander, I remind myself to not put any limitations on him and believe in him. He can achieve whatever he sets his mind to because he is amazing and no such thing as an extra chromosome can stop him. If anything this extra chromosome is what is going to help him be him.